Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

I just saw the movie "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past." It's very PUA related; a previous FWB of mine (and current friend) recommended it to me. The movie is about this dude who, as a kid, fell in love with this chick. Then he got hurt. Then he became a player who had tons of casual sex with tons of women he never called back the next day... just so that he would never feel that pain again.

*Spoiler Alert*

Then, at his brother's wedding, he was visited by three ghosts Scrooge-style. The ghosts of girlfriends past, present, and future made him realize the error of his ways. It made him realize that he leads a glamorous playboy lifestyle just to avoid the pain of heartbreak, and what that really meant for him in the long run. The pain that he was trying to avoid was nothing in comparison to the regret of forsaking love (true happiness?). One of the lines from the movie - a common truism taught within the PUA community - was "the power in a relationship lies with the person who cares less." As the main character said at the end of the movie, though, "power is not happiness."

Honestly, though... even though I felt that I could relate to the main character on many different levels, I don't know if I can go back to monogamy all Hollywood-style like he did. It would be a fantastic love story if I could finally give in to my forever-proposed agape to my first love if she were still waiting for me on the sidelines. However, that's not the case. I can only move forward. But I don't really know where I'm walking... Well, that's fine.

I do know that pain is something you shouldn't run away from. I just don't think I could be happy enough in a monogamous relationship to even feel that heartbreak afterward anymore, though. Sure, I love women. I fucking love them to death and I appreciate all their feminine essence and beauty more than most. However, I think that's the issue here. I probably wouldn't be able to feel enough passion for one woman to be able to blind myself from the beauty of all the other women out there. Any prospective heartbreak would preemptively be aborted by the passion I'd involuntarily muster for the beauty of all the other feminine energy available in my immediate vicinity.

Am I a bonobo or a gorilla? I was programmed at an early age, by modern Hollywood society, to equate happiness with monogamy - to be as the gorilla. Then, through the teachings of the seduction community, I've programmed myself (equally artificially) to equate happiness with some sort of polyamory - to be as the bonobo. What is my true nature? Hmm...