A Whole New World!

Sometimes, this song plays in my head whenever a Korean girl who has lived within the constraints of conservative Confucianism her whole life is touched by the seductive magic of my comparatively uninhibited and wild ways of living. I feel like Aladdin taking a trapped princess on a magic carpet ride of fun that no traditional Korean man can ever take her on. This song is so hilariously fitting that I think I'll just learn how to sing this song and belt it out loud whenever I meet a girl who's never been outside of this country before... if I can find a magic carpet or something functionally similar.

The proudest achievement of any sort of artist would be showing someone their world in an aesthetic manner that inspires. A pickup artist, of course, is no exception to this nature of artistry. Every seduction is a work of art that should aim to inspire in some way; that is what separates the pickup artist from the frustrated playboy who desperately seeks happiness and meaning between the legs of countless women who cannot fill the hole left in his heart by some childhood rejection. The artist seeks to give while the player seeks to take.

You have to understand that women all around the world - not just those living in more conservative cultures - live under unjust constraints to restrict them from expressing themselves sexually and fully. This is even truer in places like Korea where even college-age women are expected to return home to mommy and daddy by dinnertime lest they face harsh scoldings. Even so, we shouldn't lose sight of the double standards like the Madonna/whore complex that exist nearly everywhere. Being a woman anywhere can't be all that different from being Princess Jasmine, locked away in her castle every day, shielded from all the influences of the big bad world out there.

I've met some women in Korea who seemed to genuinely prefer their safe prison of conservative culture. That is to say, I've still never met any woman who wasn't a religious fanatic who genuinely wanted to save her virginity for marriage, but there are still those who comfortably allow their fear of social judgment to dictate their sex lives in some way or another. A lot of women, however, carry a deep and natural resentment for the oppressive forces that society has given them from birth. These are the women who really rightly want a magic penis-I-mean-CARPET ride. They are sick and tired of never having been truly free to live "dangerously." Sometimes, they feel sick and tired of SOMETHING but they don't even realize what it is they are sick and tired of.

Seduction is a magic carpet ride because you're giving the woman a chance to see this whole new world of freedom that you, as a man, has had the privilege of living in your whole life. Because you were born with a penis, no one's going to resentfully call you a slut just because people found out that you had sex with a random person. No one's going to resentfully call you a cold-hearted ice queen when people notice that you DON'T have sex. You've got the freedom to do whatever the hell you want sexually without ever having a taste of the frigid judgment from society that women get for even having the "wrong" thoughts.

Notice how Aladdin enticed her into getting on the magic carpet with just a few, simple words that didn't really promise too much and seemed to have very little consequence. Notice how Aladdin and Jasmine are sharing this magical experience together with no other audience to see them. The gradual escalation of seduction, discretion, and ultimately inspiration is what makes this song seem so much like me, an American PUA, seducing a Korean woman, or any woman for that matter.

Seduction is an opportunity for a woman to have some private space to just be herself. It's a chance she rarely ever gets, especially if she comes from a more conservative background. In order for a woman to be able to feel this way with you, you need to be expressively nonjudgmental, unquestionably discreet, and naturally sexual. Only then will you be able to show her this whole new world. lol

-Chief

Ask Chief: Cultural Stereotypes

Every now and then I get a really good question from a user on MPUAForum.com and I try to answer them to the best of my ability. Here's a question about seduction in different countries. "Little Panda" asks:

Should you adapt to a culture you're just being introduced to, according to the stereotypical way women's mentality works? So for example, somebody visiting Korea might have heard that women are usually sexually repressed and therefore can't handle the kind of game the person in question is playing. 

Is it now better for the person to attempt changing his game, just so he can adapt to this 'culture' which is just a stereotype - or should stereotypes like as such not be taken too much in consideration? 

Because every time I talk to my friends about visiting a certain country, they all seem to have an already established image/stereotype of the women there. 

"Oh dude, you should totally not go there. Women are so much harder to game in country X than they are in country Y . . ." - Which generally annoys me because it all sounds like bullshit and I don't believe you should adapt your game to a whole culture based on rumors/stereotypes, but rather the specific woman you're gaming. 

When I first came to Korea, I ignored cultural differences and just thought "game is game no matter where you go." While that's true to an extent, ignoring cultural differences is foolish.

I only got so far by trying to push forward with what I've always done. Korean girls already expected that I would be different from the Korean guys since I'm a foreigner, so I got a lot of leeway for my "unusual" behavior, but I was still hitting some roadblocks. For example, I think that using the same indirect game I used in America resulted in a ton of more pointless lost time and effort, so I adapted by being more direct.

If you want the best results, you have to adapt to your circumstances. With that said, however, I'd say that your friends are wrong to say that women are "harder" to game in a certain country compared to another country - the game is just different in some ways.

The thing that frustrates me the most about women in Korea is that they're generally less sexually experienced and also generally more sexually conservative. That makes it more inconvenient for me when I'm trying to use some sexual framing and whatnot, but it still works as long as I approach it from a different angle. Sometimes, I still revert back to my default sexualization game here out of laziness and I feel like it's "harder" to game in Korea, but that's not necessarily true.

Even the cultural difference of Korean women being generally less sexually experienced than American women can be a non-issue if you change up your game a little bit, and in some ways it can make seduction even easier (yet still more difficult if I just did what I usually did in America). For example, if I play up the frame that I'm safely "guiding" her and showing her this whole new world of perverse freedom within a nonjudgmental bubble, it works better than if I'd try it on a more experienced American girl. In America, more often than not I treated women like sexual equals who can keep up with me in bed. That frame isn't as relevant with the women I've met here in Korea, though.

It's not so much the stereotypes you should concern yourself with, but the real cultural differences that PUAs in that country will tell you about. The average stereotype you hear around may be true or false when it comes down to it. Knowing which ones are true and which ones are false will also be very useful. Also keep in mind that actually believing in the wrong stereotypes will greatly hinder you like a limiting belief. You do, however, need to at least be aware of how the culture affects social scripts.

Making her chase you?

Some guys like to "flip the script" by trying to make the girl chase them instead of showing direct interest. It might sound good in theory, but what's going to happen when you actually try to get together with a girl who's chasing you like mad? I'll tell you what: she's going to lose interest because she's "caught" you and you're no longer a challenge.

How many times have you had a girl absolutely crushing over you, only to make a complete 180 degree turn as soon as you decide to reciprocate some interest? One moment you're stringing her along with cocky lines and feigned disinterest and she's hounding you with delicious attention and affection. The next moment you think "She's showing interest in me! I can now safely ask her out with no chance of getting my feelings hurt from rejection!" So you show some interest back and you ask her out. And she says "no" because now you've taken away the thrill of the chase.

Why do so many guys try to adapt this style of seduction into their game? Well, it sure as hell feeds your ego even if you aren't actually getting anything out of it.

When it comes to the world of dating and seduction, more often than not you're going to have to make a choice between your ego and actual success. Think about what guys normally do to boost their own egos, and how those actions affect the women they're involved with. John goes around bragging about how he fucked Jane in the club bathroom last night; Jane feels betrayed, people end up calling her a slut, and other girls now know better than to do any dirty things with John! One of the biggest reasons I ask girls to keep everything between me and them a secret just between me and them is that the smarter girls know that they have to keep their reputations in check.

We all want to feel wanted and there's no denying that. The fact of the matter is that some of us start using pickup techniques in hopes of just getting more attention from women regardless of other potential benefits like sex, romance, companionship, etc. In the end, though, would any of us be satisfied with just getting attention? If you get girls chasing you all the time, there's no doubt that you'll be disappointed when they run the other way as soon as you make yourself available to them. Spare yourself the pointless high school mind games and play the real game. There's absolutely nothing wrong with taking the classically masculine role of being aggressive and chasing after what (who) you want. You might think that trying to make a girl chase you is a neat way to avoid that nasty "rejection" thing, but think again. The more you try to avoid risk, the less reward you'll get. Risks are opportunities.

-Chief

Frustrated with pickup?

If you're anything like me, you've tried so many pickup and seduction methods that it all feels like hard work. It also feels like you're putting in a ton of effort while getting a lot less progress and results than you expected. It's really quite frustrating at times.

If you've read my review on 60 Years of Challenge, then you already have pretty decent idea of how his method makes pickup practically effortless. I'm endorsing 60YOC because I really do believe that his work is a milestone in the pickup community and even renders a lot of the mainstream methods obsolete. Click here to check out his stuff if you haven't already. This material makes pickup EASY.

In other news, I'll soon be releasing an audio program of my very own. For those of you who like my fun and straightforward style of game, this will be a very exciting thing to look forward to! I plan on making it as comprehensive as possible to deliver a whole bootcamp within a home study course. Like I said about my previous workshops that I've held in the US, YOU WILL BE LIVING AND BREATHING GAME. Watch this space.

For now, I think you'll be very happy with what 60 Years of Challenge has to offer. Check him out!

-Chief

Ask Chief: Being Called a Player

Every now and then I get a really good question from a user on MPUAForum.com and I try to answer them to the best of my ability. Here's a question about being called a "player" by girls. "Chris2k10" asks:

Are you supposed to avoid coming off as a player? What messes me up the most is the player vibe even though the girl knows she's really attracted to me. My current and only solution for this is, "If you say so" with a humble smile on. What's your insight on this, should I handle it differently or what?

Different styles work better for some people than others. Has your "If you say so" + humble smile response ever gotten in the way of a lay? I like the sound of it.

You also have to keep in mind that every girl is different, too. Some are more open to the idea of playing with a player but others have repeatedly gotten hurt from playing with other players in the past. One of the things I say is "I don't play people," and I'm congruent with that since my style tends to be more straightforward.

When you're a little deeper into mid-game, though, exposing vulnerabilities should render all of those "player" accusations as irrelevant anyway.

Korean Inhibitions

As some of you may already know, I've recently been hired into the Korea branch of PUA Training by the Korea-famous PUA Alexikakos, who shall later be translating this article into Korean for the Korean bootcamp students. Although I'm there to help out on the bootcamps taught in English for the foreign students, I've had the opportunity to observe and work with some Korean students as well.

I've never been officially employed by any real pickup company before this, but I still have plenty of experience teaching and coaching countless guys in America become successful with women. Guys who need to learn pickup from all cultures all have essentially the same types of problems; everyone needs more confidence, everyone needs to learn how to be less sexually judgmental, everyone needs to work on body language, everyone needs a better abundance mentality and internal locus of control, etc. The main difference between different cultures, though, is that the average guy from one culture may need to work more in one area than an average guy from another culture.

An important factor to look at when comparing Korea to western cultures such as that of America is the fact that Korea leans more toward collectivism. Koreans value social harmony and they don't really like standing out from the crowd, at least compared to Americans. As a result, Korean guys tend to be less outspoken and more shy.

The problem of being shy for a Korean man isn't as simple as him just feeling disinclined to approach women. That's just one of many symptoms of a deeper issue. As I was trying to train one of the Korean students in field during a bootcamp, I started off by trying to get him out of his comfort zone by playing a game with him. I went out with him to the middle of the dancefloor where everyone could see us. I then told him to copy exactly what I did. I proceeded to do some silly things such as jumping around like an idiot. If you're already familiar with pickup, you would know that this sort of exercise would help you get out of shell and thus perform better in field.

This student, however, was what you might call "stifled." He was supposed to copy exactly what I did, but if I jumped two feet into the air, he would only jump up a few inches. He was far too worried about what other people might think of him. Now, I know what you might be thinking. EVERYONE who's trying to learn pickup has this problem. They are self-conscious and inside their own heads way too much. While that may be true, it's certainly more pronounced in Korean men. The fear of going against social convention here can be greater than the fear of being raped by a big black guy. If being gay were the hip new trend in Korea, all the men here would try to become gay. We can already observe this trend in Korea as many Korean men carry purses and wear makeup. Look at the male Korean pop groups and tell me that they don't look like little girls.

Straight Korean men would rather look like these gay dandy boys than go against social convention. I think that proves how powerful the collectivist influence can be in this country.

Getting back to the point, it's not just that these guys are shy. It's a lot more than that. Korean men - and this is probably true for most Asian men as well - mostly grew up in a way that restricts self-expression. The pickup arts, like any other art, is all about self-expression. No matter which way you slice it, you need to know how to express yourself confidently and unapologetically in order to do pickup right. It's going to be very difficult for a girl to like and trust anyone who always seems like he's trying to hide something, and that's exactly what these men are doing. They are trying to hide themselves.

If I'm describing you in the above paragraphs I've written, then you need to take some action to free yourself from fear and to peel away the socially imposed layers of shame that hinder your self-expression.

This issue is a matter of both inner and outer game, but like all things in pickup it's mostly about habits. You can waste your days away with affirmations and other mental masturbation exercises like that if you want, but if you want to make some real changes then you need to start changing your behavioral habits.

The issue of being stifled and limiting your self-expression isn't one simple behavioral habit, however. It's something that's manifested in basically everything that you do. It's an attitude that doesn't fear embarrassment, values the fundamental concept of expression of self (rather than trying to make an impression of someone else), and is far more concerned with what you think of others than with what others might be thinking of you.

Next time you go out, I want you to be thinking about whether or not your actions are a full expression of yourself of if you're holding yourself back just because you don't want to stand out from the crowd. If you catch yourself making the mistake of inhibiting your self-expression, then do whatever it takes to express what you really wanted to express! Make it a habit of acting more on your impulses and that will eventually translate into a more effective pickup.

-Chief

Ask Chief: Sexual Framing

Every now and then I get a really good question from a user on MPUAForum.com and I try to answer them to the best of my ability. I'd like to start sharing these questions and answers with you here! Here's a question about sexual framing. "Jimbob30" asks:

So basically, I open direct. Day game BTW. Something along the lines of "Hey how you doin. Wow, you have some beautiful eyes! They're not contacts are they?"

What do I say after that to frame the convo sexually? I know I can throw in the Strawberry fields & misinterpretation further into the convo, but what do I say before then?

The creative possibilities are endless.

When I was trying to get used to sexual framing back in the day, someone gave me some valuable advice: put your mind in the gutter.

I don't know where you're from but "Get your mind out of the gutter" is a common American saying that means "stop thinking like a sexual animal."

If you start trying to think of everything in a perverted way, you'll eventually get very skilled at putting a sexual spin on everything that cums your way, which is essentially sexual framing.

Like most guys, you're probably not used to doing this. Society conditions us to associate shame with our sexual thoughts. As a result, most guys suppress these thoughts; no one wants to be the bad guy! The way I see it, though, shame is the bigger sin here.

So, what words should you say? Once you get used to thinking sexually, you'll master sexual framing. Memorizing lines is not the answer. It misses the point of the art entirely. Penis.