A Whole New World!

Sometimes, this song plays in my head whenever a Korean girl who has lived within the constraints of conservative Confucianism her whole life is touched by the seductive magic of my comparatively uninhibited and wild ways of living. I feel like Aladdin taking a trapped princess on a magic carpet ride of fun that no traditional Korean man can ever take her on. This song is so hilariously fitting that I think I'll just learn how to sing this song and belt it out loud whenever I meet a girl who's never been outside of this country before... if I can find a magic carpet or something functionally similar.

The proudest achievement of any sort of artist would be showing someone their world in an aesthetic manner that inspires. A pickup artist, of course, is no exception to this nature of artistry. Every seduction is a work of art that should aim to inspire in some way; that is what separates the pickup artist from the frustrated playboy who desperately seeks happiness and meaning between the legs of countless women who cannot fill the hole left in his heart by some childhood rejection. The artist seeks to give while the player seeks to take.

You have to understand that women all around the world - not just those living in more conservative cultures - live under unjust constraints to restrict them from expressing themselves sexually and fully. This is even truer in places like Korea where even college-age women are expected to return home to mommy and daddy by dinnertime lest they face harsh scoldings. Even so, we shouldn't lose sight of the double standards like the Madonna/whore complex that exist nearly everywhere. Being a woman anywhere can't be all that different from being Princess Jasmine, locked away in her castle every day, shielded from all the influences of the big bad world out there.

I've met some women in Korea who seemed to genuinely prefer their safe prison of conservative culture. That is to say, I've still never met any woman who wasn't a religious fanatic who genuinely wanted to save her virginity for marriage, but there are still those who comfortably allow their fear of social judgment to dictate their sex lives in some way or another. A lot of women, however, carry a deep and natural resentment for the oppressive forces that society has given them from birth. These are the women who really rightly want a magic penis-I-mean-CARPET ride. They are sick and tired of never having been truly free to live "dangerously." Sometimes, they feel sick and tired of SOMETHING but they don't even realize what it is they are sick and tired of.

Seduction is a magic carpet ride because you're giving the woman a chance to see this whole new world of freedom that you, as a man, has had the privilege of living in your whole life. Because you were born with a penis, no one's going to resentfully call you a slut just because people found out that you had sex with a random person. No one's going to resentfully call you a cold-hearted ice queen when people notice that you DON'T have sex. You've got the freedom to do whatever the hell you want sexually without ever having a taste of the frigid judgment from society that women get for even having the "wrong" thoughts.

Notice how Aladdin enticed her into getting on the magic carpet with just a few, simple words that didn't really promise too much and seemed to have very little consequence. Notice how Aladdin and Jasmine are sharing this magical experience together with no other audience to see them. The gradual escalation of seduction, discretion, and ultimately inspiration is what makes this song seem so much like me, an American PUA, seducing a Korean woman, or any woman for that matter.

Seduction is an opportunity for a woman to have some private space to just be herself. It's a chance she rarely ever gets, especially if she comes from a more conservative background. In order for a woman to be able to feel this way with you, you need to be expressively nonjudgmental, unquestionably discreet, and naturally sexual. Only then will you be able to show her this whole new world. lol

-Chief

Making her chase you?

Some guys like to "flip the script" by trying to make the girl chase them instead of showing direct interest. It might sound good in theory, but what's going to happen when you actually try to get together with a girl who's chasing you like mad? I'll tell you what: she's going to lose interest because she's "caught" you and you're no longer a challenge.

How many times have you had a girl absolutely crushing over you, only to make a complete 180 degree turn as soon as you decide to reciprocate some interest? One moment you're stringing her along with cocky lines and feigned disinterest and she's hounding you with delicious attention and affection. The next moment you think "She's showing interest in me! I can now safely ask her out with no chance of getting my feelings hurt from rejection!" So you show some interest back and you ask her out. And she says "no" because now you've taken away the thrill of the chase.

Why do so many guys try to adapt this style of seduction into their game? Well, it sure as hell feeds your ego even if you aren't actually getting anything out of it.

When it comes to the world of dating and seduction, more often than not you're going to have to make a choice between your ego and actual success. Think about what guys normally do to boost their own egos, and how those actions affect the women they're involved with. John goes around bragging about how he fucked Jane in the club bathroom last night; Jane feels betrayed, people end up calling her a slut, and other girls now know better than to do any dirty things with John! One of the biggest reasons I ask girls to keep everything between me and them a secret just between me and them is that the smarter girls know that they have to keep their reputations in check.

We all want to feel wanted and there's no denying that. The fact of the matter is that some of us start using pickup techniques in hopes of just getting more attention from women regardless of other potential benefits like sex, romance, companionship, etc. In the end, though, would any of us be satisfied with just getting attention? If you get girls chasing you all the time, there's no doubt that you'll be disappointed when they run the other way as soon as you make yourself available to them. Spare yourself the pointless high school mind games and play the real game. There's absolutely nothing wrong with taking the classically masculine role of being aggressive and chasing after what (who) you want. You might think that trying to make a girl chase you is a neat way to avoid that nasty "rejection" thing, but think again. The more you try to avoid risk, the less reward you'll get. Risks are opportunities.

-Chief

Korean Inhibitions

As some of you may already know, I've recently been hired into the Korea branch of PUA Training by the Korea-famous PUA Alexikakos, who shall later be translating this article into Korean for the Korean bootcamp students. Although I'm there to help out on the bootcamps taught in English for the foreign students, I've had the opportunity to observe and work with some Korean students as well.

I've never been officially employed by any real pickup company before this, but I still have plenty of experience teaching and coaching countless guys in America become successful with women. Guys who need to learn pickup from all cultures all have essentially the same types of problems; everyone needs more confidence, everyone needs to learn how to be less sexually judgmental, everyone needs to work on body language, everyone needs a better abundance mentality and internal locus of control, etc. The main difference between different cultures, though, is that the average guy from one culture may need to work more in one area than an average guy from another culture.

An important factor to look at when comparing Korea to western cultures such as that of America is the fact that Korea leans more toward collectivism. Koreans value social harmony and they don't really like standing out from the crowd, at least compared to Americans. As a result, Korean guys tend to be less outspoken and more shy.

The problem of being shy for a Korean man isn't as simple as him just feeling disinclined to approach women. That's just one of many symptoms of a deeper issue. As I was trying to train one of the Korean students in field during a bootcamp, I started off by trying to get him out of his comfort zone by playing a game with him. I went out with him to the middle of the dancefloor where everyone could see us. I then told him to copy exactly what I did. I proceeded to do some silly things such as jumping around like an idiot. If you're already familiar with pickup, you would know that this sort of exercise would help you get out of shell and thus perform better in field.

This student, however, was what you might call "stifled." He was supposed to copy exactly what I did, but if I jumped two feet into the air, he would only jump up a few inches. He was far too worried about what other people might think of him. Now, I know what you might be thinking. EVERYONE who's trying to learn pickup has this problem. They are self-conscious and inside their own heads way too much. While that may be true, it's certainly more pronounced in Korean men. The fear of going against social convention here can be greater than the fear of being raped by a big black guy. If being gay were the hip new trend in Korea, all the men here would try to become gay. We can already observe this trend in Korea as many Korean men carry purses and wear makeup. Look at the male Korean pop groups and tell me that they don't look like little girls.

Straight Korean men would rather look like these gay dandy boys than go against social convention. I think that proves how powerful the collectivist influence can be in this country.

Getting back to the point, it's not just that these guys are shy. It's a lot more than that. Korean men - and this is probably true for most Asian men as well - mostly grew up in a way that restricts self-expression. The pickup arts, like any other art, is all about self-expression. No matter which way you slice it, you need to know how to express yourself confidently and unapologetically in order to do pickup right. It's going to be very difficult for a girl to like and trust anyone who always seems like he's trying to hide something, and that's exactly what these men are doing. They are trying to hide themselves.

If I'm describing you in the above paragraphs I've written, then you need to take some action to free yourself from fear and to peel away the socially imposed layers of shame that hinder your self-expression.

This issue is a matter of both inner and outer game, but like all things in pickup it's mostly about habits. You can waste your days away with affirmations and other mental masturbation exercises like that if you want, but if you want to make some real changes then you need to start changing your behavioral habits.

The issue of being stifled and limiting your self-expression isn't one simple behavioral habit, however. It's something that's manifested in basically everything that you do. It's an attitude that doesn't fear embarrassment, values the fundamental concept of expression of self (rather than trying to make an impression of someone else), and is far more concerned with what you think of others than with what others might be thinking of you.

Next time you go out, I want you to be thinking about whether or not your actions are a full expression of yourself of if you're holding yourself back just because you don't want to stand out from the crowd. If you catch yourself making the mistake of inhibiting your self-expression, then do whatever it takes to express what you really wanted to express! Make it a habit of acting more on your impulses and that will eventually translate into a more effective pickup.

-Chief

The Shameless Casanova

During a conversation with one of my chick friends, she told me something that I found to be very telling about how many women probably feel these days:

"Sigh. Sadly, even when I TRY to have one night stands or sex just for sex, men get hardcore attached and want to claim me as only theirs. It's annoying. What happened to the promiscuous, non-committing man?"

A lot of men nowadays have the impression that they should seek relationships and that their lustful desires for no-strings-attached sex are politically incorrect and would scare women away. Too many men have become ashamed of their real desires, repressing them to the point of self-deluded denial. "I'm only interested in being in a committed relationship. I'm not interested in just having sex. I'm above that." BULLSHIT.

I would strongly argue that many many women would find it absolutely refreshing to be in the presence of a man who is shamelessly honest about his "shallow" desires.

Start paying more attention to what your penis is trying to tell you.

-Chief

Why Feminism Is a Good Thing

If you've been in the PUA community for a while, you've definitely heard some of the complaints about feminism being responsible for the emasculation of entire generations of supposed "men." Most of us have complained about "feminazis" acting inappropriately self-righteous in some way or another. You can probably relate to several situations in which you have felt coerced into feeling guilt or shame simply for being born as a male. A lot of men both within and outside of the seduction community feel some sort of resentment for feminism. How should a pickup-artist think about it?

For the past several months, I've been living in a fairly remote part of South Korea. This country never had any significant feminist movements, and they never had a sexual revolution like we had in America in the 1920's. I've also noticed how much harder it is to seduce women here!*

*Seoul, the capital, is a different story. People living in Seoul tend to be more modernized in their thinking.

My options are severely limited compared to when I lived in the US. When any given population has less sexual experience overall, there are several reasons as to why any given woman from said population would be less open to having a casual sexual encounter. Standard patriarchal traditions have been long-standing in most cultures of the world, and feminism has only challenged so many of them.

These "standard patriarchal traditions" that I speak of are those supposedly tried and true customs of avoiding premarital sex, avoiding situations in which you are alone with someone of the opposite sex, avoiding any expressions of sexuality, and basically anything that has to do with a woman being sexual. America predominantly used to be this way, too, before the Sexual Revolution. In order to have sex with someone, you must have been married to that person. These old traditions are patriarchal because they were designed in a way to imply ownership on women. Marrying a woman = ownership over her vagina. Fucking someone's wife = a crime akin to thievery. The woman was something to be owned like a car or a trophy.

Feminism arose as a response to this. Feminists emphasized that women are human beings, rather than objects. This is true. Sure, some feminists went overboard by developing habits of degrading men in order to feel better about themselves, but the core principles behind feminism often involve SEXUAL EMPOWERMENT.

Men, you may initially think that empowering women sexually means that there is less of that power and choice for you, but don't be fooled by such egotistical delusions. If a woman is "sexually empowered," she feels more free to exercise her sexual nature rather than feeling constrained by the rigid rules of patriarchal society. This means she feels free to have premarital sex, casual sex, bisexual sex, kinky sex, sexy sex, and even regular sex. Imagine an entire society of women willing to have sex with other people (including you!), and actually acting on these desires. This is any society blessed with feminism. Thank you, white people.

Feminism makes pickup and seduction a hell of a lot easier. I am a feminist.

How to use your PUA powers for good

"Leave her better than you found her."
Something we should all abide by!

Her facebook status said "is in a really terrible mood." While AFCs were commenting with massage offers and the like, I hit her up on facebook chat, telling her "I'm here to make you feel wonderful."

After a little small talk, I tell her to talk to me on AIM because facebook chat sucks moose nuts. It really does.

Chief: im tempted to ask what happened, but id rather ask you what your favorite ice cream flavor is
Chief: what is it
Girl: hahha
Chief: seriously
Girl: chocolate chip cookie dough with rainbow sprinkles
Chief: hm very nice
Chief: cone or cup?
Girl: cone
Chief: what kinda cone
Girl: waffle
Chief: wow going all out there huh
Girl: hahah most definitely
Girl: what about you?
Chief: so lets say youve got this juicy looking chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream with rainbow sprinkles, 2 scoops, stuffed deliciously into a large waffle cone
Chief: the epitome of indulgence
Chief: its a hot summer day and youve got one your cutest spagetti strap top and big ol sunglasses that make ur face look smaller
Girl: lol
Chief: the sun's heat is beating down on your brow, you break a sweat, BUT EVERYTHING IS OK
Chief: because youve got your delicious ice cream
Girl: of course
Chief: a little bit of it is starting to drip down
Chief: so ur face approaches the cone
Chief: and the anticipation for flavor excites your nerves
Chief: and so u take one lick...
Chief: and how does that flavor make u feel?
Girl: well, do i just get the vanilla part, the sprinkles part, or do i get some cookie dough?
Chief: a combination of sprinkles and vanilla for now
Chief: and bit a tiny bit of cookie dough flavor
Girl: pure bliss
Chief: and the experience of this delicious bliss can be quiote powerful, cant it?
Chief: quite*
Girl: very much so
Chief: in fact, it's almost tangible, as if you can package this pure bliss in a little cute box with a bow
Girl: haha
Chief: open your hand, because that little box is in your hand right now
Chief: you got it there with u now?
Girl: yup, its right there
Chief: open it
Chief: see whats inside
Girl: oh! it's tangible bliss!
Chief: its yours
Chief: its always been yours
Chief: but now u can feel it better than ever before
Girl: yup
Chief: there
Chief: i made u feel wonderful
Chief: that'll be 29.95 thank you
Chief: lol jk
Girl: hahahahah
Girl: dayum
Girl: you should charge money for that
Chief: but u feel a lot better than before right
Girl: yup

After that conversation, her facebook status changed from "is in a really terrible mood" to "is allllllll better!!!!"

Leave her better than you found her.

Do a good deed with all that you've learned in pickup and expect nothing in return. This power you have is a gift that you can keep on giving

Understanding Women

This is going to be in one of the chapters in my upcoming ebook (in progress):

There once was a young girl named Katherine. She was born into a world not too unlike ours. Her world, however, was full of twisted unjust rules that didn’t make sense.

You see, when people in this world are hungry, they are reminded that it is wrong to eat. Higher authorities that have watched over Katherine throughout her entire life have given her the opportunity to have many blessings: education, a roof over her head, culture, etc. It seemed as though these same higher authorities, however, did not create a perfect system to govern their people. Katherine always felt like something was wrong. Something was unjust. Something was holding her back. She was promised freedom, but it was like she was only given the illusion of freedom while still remaining in captivity.

While growing up, Katherine read many story books and watched many movies. She was also surrounded by many religious friends and family members. All of these sources of information – the stories, movies, religion, etc. – echoed a very common promise:

“One day, you will no longer be hungry. One day, you will reach a proper age to undergo the feasting ceremony. You will get to choose one food dish and, from then on, you will have the freedom to eat as much of it as you wish, all day and every day. However, it is forbidden to eat any other type of food than the one you initially chose. It is also forbidden to eat anything before your feasting ceremony.”

In her history classes Katherine read about villainous women who ate more than one type of food. The history books portrayed these women as sinners and as witches who were all eventually captured and prosecuted. She learned to look at these types of women in contempt, giving these women labels such as “slut.” However, somewhere deep inside of her, she always felt something was wrong about the contempt she felt for these women. It almost felt as if she were punishing herself for feeling hunger.

Then, one day, Katherine met a woman named Stephanie. Stephanie enjoyed many pleasures in life, including fine cuisine, gourmet banquets, and crawfish boils. She had not undergone her feasting ceremony; many people accused her of being “impure.” Stephanie, however, seemed to be just fine with that. She had a genuine smile that Katherine had not ever seen on any of her friends’ faces. It was obvious that Stephanie knew something that no one else knew.

“How are you supposed to know which food dish to pick during your feasting ceremony if you’ve never tried any food before?” Stephanie asked Katherine rhetorically. “You can’t know your preferences without experience.”

Katherine pondered Stephanie’s message, and then asked a question: “Why is it that men are not prosecuted as much as women are for sneaking food before their feasting ceremony? All they get is a slap on the wrist while we women are forever marked as unclean.”

“Honey, we live in a patriarchal society. Men are always power-hungry, even when they already have all the power. We suffer more consequences for breaking the rules so that the ball stays in the men’s court. The only true freedom we can know is when it’s not about power anymore.”

“How can that happen?”

“Well, Katherine, I once knew a man who understood my grievances. He cared not for egotistical motivations such as the pursuit of power. He was motivated by compassion. His name was PUA. He would bring me food in a very discreet manner. I did not go hungry, and he never told anyone about what we were doing. I don’t know why and how he became so understanding and generous, but I would feel complete freedom because of him. It was like running away to our own world where the rules of this one didn’t apply.”

“Why didn’t you just go through the feasting ceremony to eat the food that PUA would bring you without having to be secretive about it?”

Stephanie laughed. “The food he brought me was great, but it wasn’t about that. It was about having the freedom to do what I felt was natural while having the freedom to live more of life. Honestly, who wants to eat just one and only one food dish for their entire life? Well, anyone who has already tasted a variety of flavors would think of that as hell, but others are forced to interpret it as heaven. I don’t think heaven should have prison bars like these, though.”

Hearing this, Katherine wanted to try a slice of Stephanie’s life without becoming an outcast. And so, Katherine sat on her barstool and waited. She waited for her very own PUA to set her free.

Asians

It's fucking MARDI GRAS!!! Fat Tuesday!

Did I already mention how awesome this place is? I'll say it again if I did: New Orleans is fucking awesome.

HAPPY MARDI GRAS!!!

I have made myself a regular at this bar/club called the Dungeon. Every time I go there, I enjoy myself by having a good time on the dancefloor, talking to people, eating cherries soaked in everclear, etc. As a PUA, I'm not a shy guy at the bar. I'm loud when I want to be and I actually talk to strangers. Oh, and I'm an Asian guy.

Let me tell ya. My entire life I've been going against Asian stereotypes. You can't blame me, give me a break. Asian guys are stereotypically shy nerds with no social skills. I could never really find a genuine desire within myself to align with such an identity. Fuck no, sir.

Asians in general are raised to focus primarily on academics and whatever's related to making money stabily and successfully. That's all that really matters in life for long term happiness, right? PSHHH. Every PUA and cold reader knows: Health, Wealth, and Relationships. Those are the three main categories in our lives that we need success in for happiness. Asians stereotypically sacrifice developments and potential success in Health and Relationships to focus primarily on Wealth. Fuck that shit. As a consequence, most Asian guys are completely socially inept, therefore having a sexless reputation.

Sure, sometimes I think things like "things would be a lot easier if I were white," but I've never really let my race hold me back in anything. I do what I want to do. It's probably because I started all this PUA stuff at a REALLY young age. I have pretty decent Inner Game and my limiting beliefs have been annihilated.

The fact of the matter is - most Asian guys lack confidence...immensely. And we all know that confidence is one of the most attractive qualities a PUA can convey. If it weren't for me stumbling upon one of David Deangelo's online ads years ago, I'd probably be in the same fucking pathetic boat.

I was watching a bunch of youtube videos the other night where people were talking about how you rarely see Asian guys with white chicks, how white guys "steal our Asian girls," how Asian guys have a disadvantage in the American dating scene, etc. I had a hard time identifying with these guys, though. I get romantically involved with white girls all the time. It's not an issue for me.

Limiting beliefs are silly.

Oh, I'd also like to give a shout out to JT aka AsianPlayboy and TokyoPUA. You guys are an inspiration to Asian PUAs everywhere. Hopefully I'll be joining your ranks in the future.

-Chief

EDIT: TokyoPUA is not Asian. >=(

Lookin' for love in all the wrong definitions

I gotta admit. We pickup artists are fucking pathetic. We are the male counterparts to drugged up strippers who can never find satisfaction and fulfillment. Why? You could say that we're all "looking for love in all the wrong places."

As someone with respect for Buddhists beliefs (I'm a Taoist), I believe I understand what true love is about. In short, it's an all-encompassing compassion for humanity. What do most PUAs look for, though? The Rolling Stones knew... "I can't get no satisfaction."

We're living in a society where there is so much emphasis on sensory stimulation. I know that it's all an illusion that has no real importance, but it still affects us all. I am no exception.

I still think about those times when I had a real, deep, intimate connection with a girl. Those feelings are a drug, man. We PUAs are always looking to get our fix off of women. We want those wonderful feelings of acceptance and affection. Most of the time, it's a small dosage from a friend with benefits or something, but sometimes we take the heavy shit. Sometimes we get a shot of that thing that western society mistakenly calls "love" and then BOOM we are DRUGGED.

My name is Chief and I am an addict.

I still think about those more intimate times, when she and I would find ourselves just naturally getting closer and closer physically without either of us consciously realizing what was going on. Then, I realize that I've been sick with a cold for a few days and say, "I'm not going to kiss you. I'm sick" Then, she shoots back with a simple, "you should." I still remember those timeless nights on the phone when she would tell me that she would love me forever and ever, and I would tell her that I love her so much that I'd die for her. I still think about... Psh. PUAs learn the skills of seduction just so we can be temporarily happy AFCs. The more of an AFC we can be the better. It's the illusion of love that motivates us.

And then... the cycle repeats itself. The relationship, whatever type of relationship it was, ends and we go out to find our new fix. Another dosage of these feelings from a different dealer. The next dealer has something different for you... the same feelings, just different dosages. You can get a one night stand and that would be just one shot of your poison. I know I'm mixing up drug and alcohol analogies here, but bear with me. You can begin a whole new romantic relationship and that would be an entire handle of your poison. Either way, you're going to run dry at some point and you'll just end up being more dependant on the external substance of "love." It's a vicious cycle.

Some PUAs are in this just to get laid more. They just want that sensation over and over again. The rest of us are seeking something more, but nothing more noble or honorable. We just want everyone to give us unconditional love. What the hell kind of bullshit is that?

We pickup artists are fucking pathetic. Oh, well. I guess I'll just go sarging tomorrow night. Then, I'll be happy again because this is a fun game to play.

The bottle's gunna run dry again, though. Sigh.

-Chief