Understanding Women

This is going to be in one of the chapters in my upcoming ebook (in progress):

There once was a young girl named Katherine. She was born into a world not too unlike ours. Her world, however, was full of twisted unjust rules that didn’t make sense.

You see, when people in this world are hungry, they are reminded that it is wrong to eat. Higher authorities that have watched over Katherine throughout her entire life have given her the opportunity to have many blessings: education, a roof over her head, culture, etc. It seemed as though these same higher authorities, however, did not create a perfect system to govern their people. Katherine always felt like something was wrong. Something was unjust. Something was holding her back. She was promised freedom, but it was like she was only given the illusion of freedom while still remaining in captivity.

While growing up, Katherine read many story books and watched many movies. She was also surrounded by many religious friends and family members. All of these sources of information – the stories, movies, religion, etc. – echoed a very common promise:

“One day, you will no longer be hungry. One day, you will reach a proper age to undergo the feasting ceremony. You will get to choose one food dish and, from then on, you will have the freedom to eat as much of it as you wish, all day and every day. However, it is forbidden to eat any other type of food than the one you initially chose. It is also forbidden to eat anything before your feasting ceremony.”

In her history classes Katherine read about villainous women who ate more than one type of food. The history books portrayed these women as sinners and as witches who were all eventually captured and prosecuted. She learned to look at these types of women in contempt, giving these women labels such as “slut.” However, somewhere deep inside of her, she always felt something was wrong about the contempt she felt for these women. It almost felt as if she were punishing herself for feeling hunger.

Then, one day, Katherine met a woman named Stephanie. Stephanie enjoyed many pleasures in life, including fine cuisine, gourmet banquets, and crawfish boils. She had not undergone her feasting ceremony; many people accused her of being “impure.” Stephanie, however, seemed to be just fine with that. She had a genuine smile that Katherine had not ever seen on any of her friends’ faces. It was obvious that Stephanie knew something that no one else knew.

“How are you supposed to know which food dish to pick during your feasting ceremony if you’ve never tried any food before?” Stephanie asked Katherine rhetorically. “You can’t know your preferences without experience.”

Katherine pondered Stephanie’s message, and then asked a question: “Why is it that men are not prosecuted as much as women are for sneaking food before their feasting ceremony? All they get is a slap on the wrist while we women are forever marked as unclean.”

“Honey, we live in a patriarchal society. Men are always power-hungry, even when they already have all the power. We suffer more consequences for breaking the rules so that the ball stays in the men’s court. The only true freedom we can know is when it’s not about power anymore.”

“How can that happen?”

“Well, Katherine, I once knew a man who understood my grievances. He cared not for egotistical motivations such as the pursuit of power. He was motivated by compassion. His name was PUA. He would bring me food in a very discreet manner. I did not go hungry, and he never told anyone about what we were doing. I don’t know why and how he became so understanding and generous, but I would feel complete freedom because of him. It was like running away to our own world where the rules of this one didn’t apply.”

“Why didn’t you just go through the feasting ceremony to eat the food that PUA would bring you without having to be secretive about it?”

Stephanie laughed. “The food he brought me was great, but it wasn’t about that. It was about having the freedom to do what I felt was natural while having the freedom to live more of life. Honestly, who wants to eat just one and only one food dish for their entire life? Well, anyone who has already tasted a variety of flavors would think of that as hell, but others are forced to interpret it as heaven. I don’t think heaven should have prison bars like these, though.”

Hearing this, Katherine wanted to try a slice of Stephanie’s life without becoming an outcast. And so, Katherine sat on her barstool and waited. She waited for her very own PUA to set her free.

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

I just saw the movie "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past." It's very PUA related; a previous FWB of mine (and current friend) recommended it to me. The movie is about this dude who, as a kid, fell in love with this chick. Then he got hurt. Then he became a player who had tons of casual sex with tons of women he never called back the next day... just so that he would never feel that pain again.

*Spoiler Alert*

Then, at his brother's wedding, he was visited by three ghosts Scrooge-style. The ghosts of girlfriends past, present, and future made him realize the error of his ways. It made him realize that he leads a glamorous playboy lifestyle just to avoid the pain of heartbreak, and what that really meant for him in the long run. The pain that he was trying to avoid was nothing in comparison to the regret of forsaking love (true happiness?). One of the lines from the movie - a common truism taught within the PUA community - was "the power in a relationship lies with the person who cares less." As the main character said at the end of the movie, though, "power is not happiness."

Honestly, though... even though I felt that I could relate to the main character on many different levels, I don't know if I can go back to monogamy all Hollywood-style like he did. It would be a fantastic love story if I could finally give in to my forever-proposed agape to my first love if she were still waiting for me on the sidelines. However, that's not the case. I can only move forward. But I don't really know where I'm walking... Well, that's fine.

I do know that pain is something you shouldn't run away from. I just don't think I could be happy enough in a monogamous relationship to even feel that heartbreak afterward anymore, though. Sure, I love women. I fucking love them to death and I appreciate all their feminine essence and beauty more than most. However, I think that's the issue here. I probably wouldn't be able to feel enough passion for one woman to be able to blind myself from the beauty of all the other women out there. Any prospective heartbreak would preemptively be aborted by the passion I'd involuntarily muster for the beauty of all the other feminine energy available in my immediate vicinity.

Am I a bonobo or a gorilla? I was programmed at an early age, by modern Hollywood society, to equate happiness with monogamy - to be as the gorilla. Then, through the teachings of the seduction community, I've programmed myself (equally artificially) to equate happiness with some sort of polyamory - to be as the bonobo. What is my true nature? Hmm...