Why Feminism Is a Good Thing

If you've been in the PUA community for a while, you've definitely heard some of the complaints about feminism being responsible for the emasculation of entire generations of supposed "men." Most of us have complained about "feminazis" acting inappropriately self-righteous in some way or another. You can probably relate to several situations in which you have felt coerced into feeling guilt or shame simply for being born as a male. A lot of men both within and outside of the seduction community feel some sort of resentment for feminism. How should a pickup-artist think about it?

For the past several months, I've been living in a fairly remote part of South Korea. This country never had any significant feminist movements, and they never had a sexual revolution like we had in America in the 1920's. I've also noticed how much harder it is to seduce women here!*

*Seoul, the capital, is a different story. People living in Seoul tend to be more modernized in their thinking.

My options are severely limited compared to when I lived in the US. When any given population has less sexual experience overall, there are several reasons as to why any given woman from said population would be less open to having a casual sexual encounter. Standard patriarchal traditions have been long-standing in most cultures of the world, and feminism has only challenged so many of them.

These "standard patriarchal traditions" that I speak of are those supposedly tried and true customs of avoiding premarital sex, avoiding situations in which you are alone with someone of the opposite sex, avoiding any expressions of sexuality, and basically anything that has to do with a woman being sexual. America predominantly used to be this way, too, before the Sexual Revolution. In order to have sex with someone, you must have been married to that person. These old traditions are patriarchal because they were designed in a way to imply ownership on women. Marrying a woman = ownership over her vagina. Fucking someone's wife = a crime akin to thievery. The woman was something to be owned like a car or a trophy.

Feminism arose as a response to this. Feminists emphasized that women are human beings, rather than objects. This is true. Sure, some feminists went overboard by developing habits of degrading men in order to feel better about themselves, but the core principles behind feminism often involve SEXUAL EMPOWERMENT.

Men, you may initially think that empowering women sexually means that there is less of that power and choice for you, but don't be fooled by such egotistical delusions. If a woman is "sexually empowered," she feels more free to exercise her sexual nature rather than feeling constrained by the rigid rules of patriarchal society. This means she feels free to have premarital sex, casual sex, bisexual sex, kinky sex, sexy sex, and even regular sex. Imagine an entire society of women willing to have sex with other people (including you!), and actually acting on these desires. This is any society blessed with feminism. Thank you, white people.

Feminism makes pickup and seduction a hell of a lot easier. I am a feminist.

Self-destruction is the magic bullet

Not all of the things that are taught in the PUA community are useful to everyone. Ungrounded affirmations, for example, do more harm than good for most.

Are you doing mental gymnastics in order to avoid the realization that you are going nowhere in order to avoid some sort of pain?

You might not be making your life any better right now. You know why?

You like making yourself comfortable. Even if you are in a bad spot, you prefer to settle with it and make yourself feel comfortable in it, rather than trying to move forward to make something better for yourself. It's because, frankly, you know that changing like that would be very uncomfortable.

If you actually want to make your life better... if you want women in your life, if you want to move out of Mommy's basement and get your own place, if you want to make your own money (and lots of it), if you want your own independence, and ultimately freedom...

You need motivation. And there is no greater motivation than discomfort.

The magic formula for motivation is to make yourself more uncomfortable than how much discomfort you know you'll face when you are in the process of change. So, stop feeding yourself the lies that your ego is telling you. Admit that, right now, you're a loser. Then, change.

That is the secret to success, and that is how you will be truly great. Now, go hit rock bottom.

Example:
Start out each night of sarging by intentionally getting yourself blown out.

Be Wanty, Not Needy

There's a big difference between being needy and expressing genuine, ego-less desire. The main difference is that being needy turns women off while expressing genuine desire free of ego turns women on.

The feeling of neediness stems from a void you feel in your spectrum of emotions. This void may be the result of anything ranging from previous rejections to childhood traumas. The scars you have from past experiences prompt your psyche into creating an EGO (in the Eckhart Tolle sense of the word, not Freud) in order to maintain a semblance of sanity. This ego, however, makes you NEEDY, which really sucks ass.

On the flip side, expressing genuine desire from an ego-less standpoint is much like expressing your liking for a certain flavor of ice cream simply because you like it. You don't feel any need to taste the ice cream in order to fill some sort of void within your hurting heart or any gay shit like that; you just want the ice cream because you fucking like it.

Stop looking for women to fill that hole in your heart. Women are ice cream cones. Don't be needy, but be as wanty as much as you can because women get turned on when they know that they are desired.

-Chief

How to use your PUA powers for good

"Leave her better than you found her."
Something we should all abide by!

Her facebook status said "is in a really terrible mood." While AFCs were commenting with massage offers and the like, I hit her up on facebook chat, telling her "I'm here to make you feel wonderful."

After a little small talk, I tell her to talk to me on AIM because facebook chat sucks moose nuts. It really does.

Chief: im tempted to ask what happened, but id rather ask you what your favorite ice cream flavor is
Chief: what is it
Girl: hahha
Chief: seriously
Girl: chocolate chip cookie dough with rainbow sprinkles
Chief: hm very nice
Chief: cone or cup?
Girl: cone
Chief: what kinda cone
Girl: waffle
Chief: wow going all out there huh
Girl: hahah most definitely
Girl: what about you?
Chief: so lets say youve got this juicy looking chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream with rainbow sprinkles, 2 scoops, stuffed deliciously into a large waffle cone
Chief: the epitome of indulgence
Chief: its a hot summer day and youve got one your cutest spagetti strap top and big ol sunglasses that make ur face look smaller
Girl: lol
Chief: the sun's heat is beating down on your brow, you break a sweat, BUT EVERYTHING IS OK
Chief: because youve got your delicious ice cream
Girl: of course
Chief: a little bit of it is starting to drip down
Chief: so ur face approaches the cone
Chief: and the anticipation for flavor excites your nerves
Chief: and so u take one lick...
Chief: and how does that flavor make u feel?
Girl: well, do i just get the vanilla part, the sprinkles part, or do i get some cookie dough?
Chief: a combination of sprinkles and vanilla for now
Chief: and bit a tiny bit of cookie dough flavor
Girl: pure bliss
Chief: and the experience of this delicious bliss can be quiote powerful, cant it?
Chief: quite*
Girl: very much so
Chief: in fact, it's almost tangible, as if you can package this pure bliss in a little cute box with a bow
Girl: haha
Chief: open your hand, because that little box is in your hand right now
Chief: you got it there with u now?
Girl: yup, its right there
Chief: open it
Chief: see whats inside
Girl: oh! it's tangible bliss!
Chief: its yours
Chief: its always been yours
Chief: but now u can feel it better than ever before
Girl: yup
Chief: there
Chief: i made u feel wonderful
Chief: that'll be 29.95 thank you
Chief: lol jk
Girl: hahahahah
Girl: dayum
Girl: you should charge money for that
Chief: but u feel a lot better than before right
Girl: yup

After that conversation, her facebook status changed from "is in a really terrible mood" to "is allllllll better!!!!"

Leave her better than you found her.

Do a good deed with all that you've learned in pickup and expect nothing in return. This power you have is a gift that you can keep on giving

Adopting Sexy Beliefs

It's no secret that the beliefs we hold affect our lives in many different ways. It's also commonly known throughout the seduction community that having a certain set of beliefs leads to more success with women and dating.

Some of these beliefs include:
1. Women love sex
2. Women are gorgeous and blameless
...well, I can make a list of useful beliefs that goes on and on for pages and pages, but that's not the point of this post.

Fiftyone, a member of mpuaforum.com, asked me about adopting new beliefs. In short, he didn't really know how to just start believing in something he didn't believe before:
"I guess my problem now is to learn how to instill those beliefs into my brain and stop thinking like an AFC. I haven't read that far into the book yet; maybe it'll tell me how to change my beliefs and adopt new beliefs later on in the book. If you have some tips on that, please do share (psychology 101?)!" - Fiftyone

The book he was talking about suggests tons of useful beliefs, but it doesn't tell you how to adopt any of them.

My response to him was as follows:

Adopting new beliefs is easy as pie. All you have to do is actively search for evidence in your reality that supports those new beliefs. Keep doing that until you can see evidence of that without even trying.

Do that too much in too little time and you just might lose grasp of reality and go insane, though, so keep your feet on the ground!

Here's an example of adopting a new belief this way:

Adopting the belief "I am sexy."

Instead of just telling yourself "I am sexy" over and over again like most affirmation exercises tell you to do, sit down and make a list of reasons why you are sexy. Go ahead and take your time with this if necessary. If you can't think of at least a handful of reasons in one sitting, ruminate over the topic and try again the next day... and the next day... and so on and so forth until the belief of "I am sexy" has a solid foundation of reasons that become self-evident to you more and more. During this process, any reasons previously programmed in your mind that "prove" that you are NOT sexy become overshadowed by your new programming and become insignificant.

Open your mind up enough and you will be able to find reasons as to why anything is true. There is no reason to give up on adopting any positive belief that will be useful to you.

Note that I am not talking about absolute or higher truth; I am talking about your personal beliefs that shape your success and lifestyle.

Understanding Women

This is going to be in one of the chapters in my upcoming ebook (in progress):

There once was a young girl named Katherine. She was born into a world not too unlike ours. Her world, however, was full of twisted unjust rules that didn’t make sense.

You see, when people in this world are hungry, they are reminded that it is wrong to eat. Higher authorities that have watched over Katherine throughout her entire life have given her the opportunity to have many blessings: education, a roof over her head, culture, etc. It seemed as though these same higher authorities, however, did not create a perfect system to govern their people. Katherine always felt like something was wrong. Something was unjust. Something was holding her back. She was promised freedom, but it was like she was only given the illusion of freedom while still remaining in captivity.

While growing up, Katherine read many story books and watched many movies. She was also surrounded by many religious friends and family members. All of these sources of information – the stories, movies, religion, etc. – echoed a very common promise:

“One day, you will no longer be hungry. One day, you will reach a proper age to undergo the feasting ceremony. You will get to choose one food dish and, from then on, you will have the freedom to eat as much of it as you wish, all day and every day. However, it is forbidden to eat any other type of food than the one you initially chose. It is also forbidden to eat anything before your feasting ceremony.”

In her history classes Katherine read about villainous women who ate more than one type of food. The history books portrayed these women as sinners and as witches who were all eventually captured and prosecuted. She learned to look at these types of women in contempt, giving these women labels such as “slut.” However, somewhere deep inside of her, she always felt something was wrong about the contempt she felt for these women. It almost felt as if she were punishing herself for feeling hunger.

Then, one day, Katherine met a woman named Stephanie. Stephanie enjoyed many pleasures in life, including fine cuisine, gourmet banquets, and crawfish boils. She had not undergone her feasting ceremony; many people accused her of being “impure.” Stephanie, however, seemed to be just fine with that. She had a genuine smile that Katherine had not ever seen on any of her friends’ faces. It was obvious that Stephanie knew something that no one else knew.

“How are you supposed to know which food dish to pick during your feasting ceremony if you’ve never tried any food before?” Stephanie asked Katherine rhetorically. “You can’t know your preferences without experience.”

Katherine pondered Stephanie’s message, and then asked a question: “Why is it that men are not prosecuted as much as women are for sneaking food before their feasting ceremony? All they get is a slap on the wrist while we women are forever marked as unclean.”

“Honey, we live in a patriarchal society. Men are always power-hungry, even when they already have all the power. We suffer more consequences for breaking the rules so that the ball stays in the men’s court. The only true freedom we can know is when it’s not about power anymore.”

“How can that happen?”

“Well, Katherine, I once knew a man who understood my grievances. He cared not for egotistical motivations such as the pursuit of power. He was motivated by compassion. His name was PUA. He would bring me food in a very discreet manner. I did not go hungry, and he never told anyone about what we were doing. I don’t know why and how he became so understanding and generous, but I would feel complete freedom because of him. It was like running away to our own world where the rules of this one didn’t apply.”

“Why didn’t you just go through the feasting ceremony to eat the food that PUA would bring you without having to be secretive about it?”

Stephanie laughed. “The food he brought me was great, but it wasn’t about that. It was about having the freedom to do what I felt was natural while having the freedom to live more of life. Honestly, who wants to eat just one and only one food dish for their entire life? Well, anyone who has already tasted a variety of flavors would think of that as hell, but others are forced to interpret it as heaven. I don’t think heaven should have prison bars like these, though.”

Hearing this, Katherine wanted to try a slice of Stephanie’s life without becoming an outcast. And so, Katherine sat on her barstool and waited. She waited for her very own PUA to set her free.

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

I just saw the movie "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past." It's very PUA related; a previous FWB of mine (and current friend) recommended it to me. The movie is about this dude who, as a kid, fell in love with this chick. Then he got hurt. Then he became a player who had tons of casual sex with tons of women he never called back the next day... just so that he would never feel that pain again.

*Spoiler Alert*

Then, at his brother's wedding, he was visited by three ghosts Scrooge-style. The ghosts of girlfriends past, present, and future made him realize the error of his ways. It made him realize that he leads a glamorous playboy lifestyle just to avoid the pain of heartbreak, and what that really meant for him in the long run. The pain that he was trying to avoid was nothing in comparison to the regret of forsaking love (true happiness?). One of the lines from the movie - a common truism taught within the PUA community - was "the power in a relationship lies with the person who cares less." As the main character said at the end of the movie, though, "power is not happiness."

Honestly, though... even though I felt that I could relate to the main character on many different levels, I don't know if I can go back to monogamy all Hollywood-style like he did. It would be a fantastic love story if I could finally give in to my forever-proposed agape to my first love if she were still waiting for me on the sidelines. However, that's not the case. I can only move forward. But I don't really know where I'm walking... Well, that's fine.

I do know that pain is something you shouldn't run away from. I just don't think I could be happy enough in a monogamous relationship to even feel that heartbreak afterward anymore, though. Sure, I love women. I fucking love them to death and I appreciate all their feminine essence and beauty more than most. However, I think that's the issue here. I probably wouldn't be able to feel enough passion for one woman to be able to blind myself from the beauty of all the other women out there. Any prospective heartbreak would preemptively be aborted by the passion I'd involuntarily muster for the beauty of all the other feminine energy available in my immediate vicinity.

Am I a bonobo or a gorilla? I was programmed at an early age, by modern Hollywood society, to equate happiness with monogamy - to be as the gorilla. Then, through the teachings of the seduction community, I've programmed myself (equally artificially) to equate happiness with some sort of polyamory - to be as the bonobo. What is my true nature? Hmm...